


Crybaby

by downtowndystopia



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal, Awkwardness, Blowjobs, Communication, Crying, First Time, Fluff, M/M, bottom rin, but like not in a dubcon way or a pain way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 06:24:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6969781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downtowndystopia/pseuds/downtowndystopia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based on this tumblr post: http://rnikaayuu.tumblr.com/post/135391867198/rin-matsuoka-cries-during-sex-pass-it-on (literally just the same as what the link says)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crybaby

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos make my day! I hope you enjoy nonetheless, also this is not beta-ed so please forgive any grammatical errors.

Rin confesses to Sousuke almost a week after they get settled. Rin argues that it was a good idea in case Sousuke wanted to be in another room, or never talk to him again for that matter. If Rin waited too long they wouldn’t be able to room with anyone else. The thought that Rin had actually prepared for Sousuke to hate him still kind of breaks his heart, but it all worked out in the end so it’s fine.

Despite being two healthy teenage boys, Sousuke and Rin wait quite a while to have sex. Rin straight up refuses to do anything too strenuous when tournaments are coming up. On top of that he refuses to go all the way until after nationals.

Sousuke argues that it won’t actually affect his swimming, and even offers (begrudgingly) to bottom first to prove the point, but Rin is not budging. Sousuke accepts this, figuring that there’s probably more to it than just swimming. Although with Rin it really could just be the swimming thing. Either way he is fine with it, he’ll wait till Rin is ready.

Rin tells Sousuke that he’s going to back to Sydney to train around the same time Sousuke gets his acceptance from the University of Sydney for kinesiology. He had a feeling that Rin would return to Australia sooner rather than later, once he got back into the game. At this point Rin’s grades in Japanese literature were falling lower than his grades in English.

Sousuke secretly practices English outside of classes too, he’s gotten good enough at it to study in English at university. It’s incredibly embarrassing to admit how much time and energy that Sousuke has put into the small chance that Rin would have him back one day. It’s honestly pathetic, but when Rin’s eyes widen in surprise and joy at the fact that his boyfriend would be following him to Australia, Sousuke knows it was worth the years of work.

When nationals come around and Rin places, Sousuke can’t bring himself to be jealous, he’s too happy. He’s so proud of Rin for overcoming everything he has. Sousuke’s dream might be impossible now, but slowly he’s realizing that people’s dreams can change. His dream is Rin, and Rin’s dream is to swim on the world stage. Sousuke knows he’ll always have to come second to swimming, it’s something he’s accepted. They’re no-longer on the same level. It breaks his heart in a bittersweet pain but he still feels so much joy. Rin is his, and he is Rin’s and it’s going to be okay. His high school dreams might be damned but he’ll find a new one, with Rin at his side.

When they reach Rin’s house after the nationals party at Nanase’s between Samezuka and Iwatobi, they collapse on Rin’s couch. “What a night,” Rin comments.

“I’m exhausted” Sousuke announces.

“But I made a promise,” Rin says with concern. “Did you change your mind about wanting to—“

“No! No, of course not,” Sousuke assures. “But you must be even more tired than I am. Your parents and Gou don’t get back from their Tokyo trip till Monday. We have lots of time.”

“I am pretty sleepy…” Rin says. “Okay, but tomorrow your ass is mine Yamazki,” Rin smiles.

“More like _your_ ass is _mine,_ ” Sousuke corrects.

“Whatever I’m still going to blow your world,” Rin huffs.

“You sound like such a virgin right now,” Sousuke laughs. “Really, I know you were concentrated on swimming and everything,” Sousuke says through his laughs. “But really, Rin? Blow your world? Oh damn, we’ll see.”

Rin frowns. “Yeah keep talking like that, Sousuke, maybe I’ll choose to give my virginity to someone else.”

“Like hell you will,” Sousuke laughs, picking up his swimming bag. “Come on, Rin. It’s late, let’s cuddle and go to bed.” Rin smiles and follows him.

It’s not the first time by far that they’ve shared a bed, but knowing what is to happen the next day makes even the most innocent shirtless cuddling a little awkward. Eventually Rin counts his breaths along with Sousuke’s and it calms him down enough to fall asleep, still holding onto his boyfriend’s larger hand.

When the night comes the next day, and Rin has showered and Sousuke is kissing him gently, Rin is finally ready. Rin is sure that it will be perfect. Sousuke is a little more realistic but he knows that as long as it’s with Rin, it’ll be perfect in his mind.

And it would have been the perfect first time too. The only thing is….well….Rin cries during sex. It doesn’t actually _surprise_ Sousuke, but it does unsettle him a little bit. It’s important to note that Rin isn’t crying from pain or discomfort he’s just really fucking emotional, and sex apparently brings out his emotions.

 Rin isn’t as much of a crybaby that everyone thinks he is in regular life. Sousuke knows that Rin had a lot of bottled up emotions in his second year of high school, and when he let it out eventually, at the relay (which he still doesn’t approve of) it had been released through tears. In his day-to-day life, however, Rin is very stoic and logical as a swim team captain. He doesn’t let his emotions get the better of him.

The only two people in this world who probably can make Rin cry is Nanase and himself. Sousuke would be jealous but (at least now) he knows that Tachibana is practically married to Nanase so there’s nothing to worry about.

“And even if they weren’t an item since, like, childhood? I’d still pick you,” He remembers Rin saying casually in their dorm after Rin had set the record straight about his and Nanase’s relationship (or lack thereof).

“Um, Rin,” Sousuke says awkwardly. “Are you…in pain or something?”

Rin frowns and hits Sousuke lightly on the chest. “No you idiot, I just really love you,” he explains. “I can’t,” he sniffles. “I can’t help it. I’m sorry it’s probably gross, do you want to stop?”

“No!” Sousuke yelps, thrusting a little in the process making Rin yelp in discomfort. “Oh shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

“We agreed you weren’t going to put it in all the way,” Rin snaps.

“I wasn’t trying to, I just—“ Sousuke tries to defend.

“Whatever, it’s fine,” Rin says. “You can…continue. Just not any deeper.”

“Sorry,” Sousuke murmurs again kissing Rin softly before slowly pulling out and thrusting in, just a small amount. Well, technically a small amount. It feels that way for Sousuke but they’d both known that Sousuke wasn’t going to fit completely the first time.

“Just keep going—ow fuck _slowly—_ until I tell you to stop,” Rin says bossily, trying to keep his composure. In the end Rin was able to fit about half before things got really uncomfortable, and Sousuke wasn’t about to push him further than he was ready to go.

Eventually they do get a good pace going, and it seems perfect. That is until Rin sniffles a little.

“It’s fine,” Rin repeats. “I just…I don’t know. I got lost in it I guess. I’m sorry I’m a mess,” he sniffs.

“I love you,” Sousuke says instead, thrusting gently up into Rin.

Rin moans again, grasping at the sheets, but tears are still falling down his face.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sousuke asks, stopping again.

“Fuck, yes, Sousuke I’m fine,” Rin says with exasperation. “It feels really good” he admits.

“Do you just want me to ignore that you’re crying?” Sousuke asks.

“If at all possible, yes. And don’t stop thrusting-fuck— _right there oh—“_ Rin breaks off as Sousuke continues, kissing Rin’s wet face and trying to push down the feeling that he’s doing something wrong.

*

The rest of the weekend goes alright. Rin is a little sore at first but Sousuke tends to him. They don’t do it again, however. And they definitely don’t talk about the fact that Rin was crying the entire time. Rin assures him that it was great, and he didn’t seem to be in pain. It’s just…it’s weird, okay? He doesn’t want to see the love of his life crying, even if it’s from joy.

“So…” Sousuke starts. “Are we just…not going to talk about it?” He asks when they’re back at their dorm.

“That’s the plan,” Rin says quietly, flipping the page of a book.

“Are you, y’know, okay?” Sousuke asks. “You’re sure I didn’t hurt you or anything?”

“Sousuke I promise you didn’t hurt me, okay?” Rin answers. “It’s embarrassing, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Sousuke pushes on. “I’m not judging you, I promise. I just want to make sure you were comfortable and…um…enjoyed it,” he says the last part quietly.

“I enjoyed it,” Rin admits quietly, refusing to look at Sousuke. “I was crying because it felt so good and because I love you so much, and I couldn’t control it I guess because it was the first time we’d been together like that. Anyways you already know all this, stop being so girly.”

“Awwwww, Rin,” Sousuke coos, hugging his boyfriend, who is currently struggling in his arms.

“Get off of me you big brute!” Rin grumbles, but Sousuke knows it’s just playful banter. He loves hugs and cuddles as much as (if not more than) Sousuke.

“You love me,” Sousuke comments, hugging Rin closer.

“Yea, I do,” Rin says seriously. “I just wish I hadn’t fucked up our first time like that,” he frowns.

“You didn’t fuck it up,” Sousuke argues. “We both enjoyed ourselves, so what if you cried? Lots of people cry when they experience intense emotions. It’s perfectly normal.”

Rin frowns, judging Sousuke for thinking that he’d be that gullible. “Sousuke, I know it’s not normal, I’m not an idiot,” he comments. “It’s weird and gross and I wish it hadn’t happened but I can only hope that next time it won’t happen again.”

“We could always try and find out?” Sousuke suggests, trying to keep his voice calm.

“Wait—now?” Rin squeaks.

“Well you just got out of the shower,” Sousuke comments. “And there’s no time like the present, right?”

“You are such a horn dog!” Rin accuses, laughing.

“Hey, hey,” Sousuke says, putting his hands up in front of himself in defense. “I’m a healthy teenage boy in a long term, committed relationship. There’s no shame in wanting to have sex with you. I mean, have you _looked_ in a mirror? You’re kind of gorgeous.”

Rin blushes profusely. “Shut up,” he replies quietly, but there’s no heat to it. “Fine I guess we can? I just hope I can control my emotions this time,” he frowns.

“Even if you can’t I don’t care, you’re beautiful and I want you no matter what.”

Rin has to stop himself from tearing up already. Why is his boyfriend such a pile of mush? Haru probably never says shit like that to Makoto, although who knows what goes on behind closed doors with those two, really.

“Fine,” Rin says, taking his tank top off. “We’re having sex, and I’m definitely not going to cry this time,” he states, pulling off his sweats. “Now where’s the lube?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sousuke says. “Maybe we should start a little slower? Not that I’m hating the view of you in just those boxers,” he smirks. “But maybe we should start off more like this,” he says, and brings Rin’s mouth to his by gently cupping Rin’s jawline and guiding their lips together.

Sousuke kisses Rin gently at first; just surface kisses and pecks until Rin wraps his arms around Sousuke’s neck and brings the kiss deeper. Sousuke makes a pleasant sound into Rin’s mouth and returns the kiss with fervour. They kiss like that for what seems like forever, slowly landing onto the bottom bunk of their bed, Sousuke climbing on top of Rin with ease.

“Mm, Sousuke,” Rin moans when Sousuke brings their hips together. He returns the moan, enjoying the pleasurable friction between their lips and groins. Sousuke brings his tongue to Rin’s lips and enters, slowly entwining his tongue with Rin’s as he brings their hips together once more.

“You-you need to lose some clothes,” Rin says, breathless. “Now.” He demands.

Sousuke laughs kind heartedly and complies, taking off his top in one quick action. Before he can lean down to kiss Rin again however, he is stopped by Rin, who motions towards his lower half. _Oh,_ he thinks. _Pants too, then._ He gets off the bed to remove his pants, leaving Rin on the bed panting with his back arched in anticipation.

“Get the lube while you’re up,” Rin pants.

“You’re sure?” Sousuke questions, walking to his desk drawer to find the lube.

“Yes I’m fucking sure, now get back here with that and—and,” he can’t say the words, he blushes, fumbling.

“Make love to you?” He smirks, and then dodges a pillow thrown at him by Rin for saying such a statement.

“You know I hate that term you jerk!” Rin yells, blushing harder than before. He kind of looks like a tomato at this point. It’s obvious, however, that Rin is not actually mad at him, so Sousuke walks back to their bed.

“Can I?” Sousuke asks, gesturing towards Rin’s underwear.

“Yeah, but you too,” Rin mutters.

“Deal,” Sousuke smirks, pulling off his boxers first, letting his erection spring free, and then pulling off Rin’s and tosses both their underwear into a corner. “Can I…um…prepare you?”

Rin’s eyes widen in embarrassment but he nods nonetheless. “Just um, go slow. Like last time.”

“I promise,” Sousuke swears, pouring lube onto his fingers. He remembers doing this last time when they were so nervous, he was sure Rin would never relax enough for him to fit. Eventually, Sousuke was able to fit three fingers in through kissing Rin’s neck and sucking on his nipples to distract him.

This time around is no different, Rin might be a little less nervous, but he’s still tight as ever, and getting him to relax is a feat, to say the least. Eventually, however, he is able to fit three fingers inside Rin with ease, indulging in the fact that since the swim season is over he can leave hickies almost whever he wants on Rin’s body.

“I’m ready, Sousuke,” Rin moans.

“I love you so much,” Sousuke says, kissing him slowly whilst positioning his cock to Rin’s hole. “You’re so beautiful, and amazing,” he continues, pushing in, just a little bit. “I feel so lucky to be with you,” he admits quietly.

“You need to stop saying nice things like that!” Rin cries, sniffling already. “Just fuck me, Sousuke,” he pleads.

“But I don’t want to use you like that,” Sousuke pouts. “I love you, I want to cherish you.”

“Well being cherished makes me cry so don’t do that,” Rin says in frustration, moving Sousuke out of him with a wince. “Let’s try a different position, yeah?” Rin suggests, getting on his hands and knees. “And no lovey-dovey talk, please.”

Sousuke sighs but complies to Rin’s request, crouching down to enter him again, this time from behind. “You know this is way more cramped than when you’re on your back right?” Sousuke asks, pressing in again, not too far though. “Plus I can’t kiss you or see your face.”

“That’s the point,” Rin says, thrusting back against Sousuke. “Now fuck me, Sousuke.”

Sousuke’s brain kind of breaks at those words, he’d never heard Rin sound like that befre. All he can do is go along with it at this point, it’s not like he wants to stop. He thrusts in little by little, knowing that Rin still isn’t used to this at all (and neither is he, it makes him feel terrible how badly he wants to just pin Rin down and fuck him with all of his strength. He’d never do it, but the desire makes him feel terrible). He kisses the side of Rin’s neck (the only area he can really reach in this position) and accidentally goes further in again.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, Rin,” Sousuke apologises, kissing the nape of Rin’s neck.

Rin shivers and replies back, “No, don’t be sorry, Sousuke. Add more lube first but fuck me harder. As hard as you want.”

“A-are you sure?” Sousuke asks.

“I’m not a virgin anymore, Sousuke.”

“Yeah but you were less than a week ago,” Sousuke argues.

“Just do it, please. And don’t talk.”

“God, okay. Fine,” Sousuke says, feeling worried that Rin isn’t telling him something. He first adds as much lube as he deems humanly possible, and then, with great worry, thrusts all the way into Rin, slowly.

Rin keens, and makes a noise that does not sound pleasurable at all. “Rin, are you okay?”

“Feels good,” he lies. “Keep going. Go as hard as you want.”

“Are you absolutely sure you’re okay Rin? You won’t even turn your head to look at me.”

“Yes!” Rin snaps, refusing to turn his head. “Just do what you want, please.”

Sousuke reluctantly does so, but still restrains himself quite a bit. He does fuck into Rin all the way, but makes sure that there is a good moment of respite before he thrusts in again. About six thrusts in and Sousuke can’t handle Rin’s pained moans anymore. He knows what good-Rin moans sound like and they’re not this. He pulls out slowly and sits on the bed.

“Why’d you stop?” Rin asks, frustrated.

“Because you were in pain,” Sousuke says.

“I wasn’t—“

“Don’t lie to me!” Sousuke snaps. “Don’t—don’t do that.”

“Fine,” Rin says. “I’m sorry, I just…every time you were nice to me or loving or if it felt good I felt like crying so I thought that maybe if we just fucked it would be easier.”

“I don’t want to ‘just fuck’ you Rin,” Sousuke says in frustration. “I want to love and cherish you, even if you cry every time that’s better than hurting you even once!”

“I’m sorry,” Rin recoils from being so close to Sousuke. “I was being selfish, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Sousuke mutters softly. “But please, just let me love you, okay? I don’t give a rat’s ass if you cry every time we have sex, especially if it means you’re happy and enjoying yourself. If being cherished and loved and feeling good makes you want to cry maybe I’m not doing a good enough job as your boyfriend.”

“It’s not that,” Rin assures. “It’s just…I was so lonely for so long,” he admits. “And you came back into my life and you liked me back—you _loved_ me back. I spent so long being alone and I finally didn’t have to be. I’m still not used to being treated like I matter unless it has to do with swimming, okay? So of course I’m going to cry when the man I love is making me feel so good and saying such nice things that he truly means,” Rin starts tearing up. “See? Even thinking about it makes my eyes misty because I’m still trying to believe I deserve love after everything I did.”

“Rin,” Sousuke says with so much emotion, gathering up Rin into his lap, both of them ignoring their nudity. “You are so fucking worthy of being loved, and I’m so sorry you had such a hard time in Australia. I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there—“

“I didn’t let you be there, Sousuke,” Rin reminds him. “It’s not your fault. You’ve been nothing but amazing to me. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Sousuke breathes before bringing Rin into a deep kiss.

“Let’s try again,” Rin says when they separate.

“Are you serious?” Sousuke asks. “I don’t think we should—“

“Just hear me out,” Rin says. “I think we should do it again, face-to-face, I think we should—and I will _kill_ you if you tell anyone I said this—I think we should make love.”

Sousuke’s own eyes water a bit at Rin’s admission. “Okay,” he agrees. “Face to face, and you’re going to tell me the moment anything even mildly feels uncomfortable, okay?”

“Deal,” Rin smiles, which quickly turns to a frown when he sees that Sousuke is crawling down his body instead of towards his mouth. “What are you doing?” He squeaks.

“You’re not hard anymore,” Sousuke comments before sinking his mouth down on Rin’s cock. Rin’s eyes pop open as wide a possible, the feeling incredibly overwhelming. If he wasn’t hard before, he certainly is now, and he has to push Sousuke off quite quickly so they don’t ruin their fun right then and there.

“You’re really good at that,” Rin pants.

“Thanks,” Sousuke laughs nervously. They don’t usually use their mouths on each other (Rin because, well, teeth, and Sousuke because Rin’s never asked for it before really), but obviously it has an effect on Rin because not even two minutes into the blowjob and he’d had to pull off so Rin wouldn’t come.

“Do you need me to do something too?” Rin asks.

“Oh, uh no,” Sousuke blushes. “Seeing you like that was definitely enough to get me back to where we where.”

“Oh,” Rin says, embarrassed but also flattered. “Okay then, kiss me, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Sousuke agrees and falls between Rin’s legs to grab the nape of his neck and kiss him. Rin’s knees instinctively fall wider and raise up, making Sousuke have easier entrance to him. Sousuke sucks on a hicky he’d left last time as he enters again, slowly this time. When he is half-way in, he kisses Rin softly. “Does it feel okay?”

“It feels amazing, Sousuke,” Rin sniffles. “I love you so much,” he says as a tear falls down his cheek. Sousuke kisses it away.

“You’re so precious to me, Rin,” Sousuke says, thrusting in and out gently as he can. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“You’re way too coherent right now,” Rin moans as another tear falls down his face. “Please go a little quicker, it feels so—so fucking good.”

Sousuke complies, rolling his hips quicker, trying hard to grind against Rin’s prostate. When he finally gets into the right angle to really attack Rin’s prostate, Rin is a mess of tears and moans.

“Uh-huh-hah,fuck, Sousuke,” he whines. “It feels so good I can’t—oh god—touch me, please,” he begs.

“Anything for you, my love,” Sousuke says, kissing Rin’s temple, he grinds up even harder now, jacking off Rin with his bad shoulder, holding himself up with the other. It’s clear from the fluid escaping Rin’s cock that he won’t last much longer. It feels so good for Sousuke too he knows he’ll follow soon as well.

Rin comes quickly after, back arching, allowing Sousuke’s cock to enter him deeper, Sousuke keeps jacking off Rin whilst rolling his hips up into his lover. He must be three-quarters the way inside of Rin when they both come within seconds of each other.

They lay panting after, as Sousuke slowly and gently pulls himself out of Rin.

“Ugh, why didn’t I make you wear a condom?” Rin whines.

“You’ll live,” Sousuke snorts. Truth is, he kind of loves knowing that he’s maked Rin’s inside as well as his outside body. It gives him a primal sort of pride that he should be embarrassed by.

“So the tears didn’t bother you?” Rin asks, vulnerable.

“I barely noticed them,” Sousuke admits. “No really! And when I did I knew they were tears of happiness and pleasure and it only turned me on more that I could make you feel so much.”

“I love you,” Rin says, snuggling up to his boyfriend.

“I love you too,” Sousuke says. “But we’re going to have to sleep on the top bunk tonight.”

“What?!” Rin yells. “You think I can climb a ladder after you fucked me like that?”

“Well whose fault is that?” Sousuke defends.

“Yours!” Rin replies.

“How so?” Sousuke asks.

“You’re the one with the gian fucking cock and I just haaaaad to fall in love with you,” Rin complains. “It’s honestly not fair.”

“You’re right,” Sousuke laughs, mostly just happy about the backwards compliment about his dick size. It shouldn’t matter but, let’s be real it matters to any eighteen year old boy. “Okay, okay, I’ll transfer the sheets from the top bunk to the bottom so we can sleep without a wet spot.”

“You’re a life-saver,” Rin moans in gratitude.

“And you’re a needy bottom,” Sousuke says.

“You asshole!” Rin says.

“You love me,” Sousuke smirks.

“Yeah, I do. I really do,” Rin says, looking into Sousuke’s eyes. “Stay with me forever, yeah?”

“Sounds like a deal to me.”

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
